Monday Morning Jolt


By Leo Paciga  @FFHoudini



Welcome to this week’s edition of the “Monday Morning Jolt”.  Normally this article is a weekly look back at the happenings and performances from around the NFL, focusing on situations and players that caught my eye or made me scratch my head in either awe or disbelief.  Since this is my final edition of the MMJ for this season, I thought I would tackle things a little differently this week and craft my own personal NFL “wish list” for Santa Claus.  So with most of week 15 in the books and in no particular order, here’s a look at my very own Christmas wish list for jolly old Saint Nick.


Dear Santa,

Hey, it’s me….you know, Leo…that @FFHoudini guy on Twitter.  I’m not sure how much time you get to watch football up there at the North Pole, but I wanted to send you my NFL Christmas “wish list” for this season.  So Santa, here’s what’s on my Christmas list for this year………


  • Please give Trent Richardson better vision and maybe a GPS to improve his sense of direction.  He looks lost with the football in his hands anywhere behind the line of scrimmage.
  • While were talking about the Cleveland Browns, please,please, please give Josh Gordon a major dose of good judgement so he makes sound decisions and stays out of trouble this off season.
  • Same goes for Indianapolis wide receiver Da’Rick Rogers.  With his size, skills and speed, Rogers could easily become next year’s Josh Gordon in terms of productivity on the field.  Unfortunately, he’s also had some challenges off the field when it comes to making decisions.  So Santa, please weigh down that sleigh with brightly wrapped packages of “good judgement.”
  • Some stoutness and fortitude for the Denver defense and some “calming cleats” for Peyton Manning.  Every year around playoff time, Peyton starts to tap dance behind the line of scrimmage like a centipede ramped up on Red Bull.
  • A little positive news concerning the health and career of running back David Wilson.
  • Speaking of long term health, could you please remove the chunk of kryptonite from Rob Gronkowski‘s locker.  I realize Bill Belichick isn’t the nicest guy on the planet, but can’t you just give him a truck load of coal and be done with it?
  • A new set of high performance tires for RG3 and a coach with the communication skills to corral owner Dan Snyder and re-energize the team’s franchise quarterback.
  • Some offensive freedom and open space for C.J. Spiller.
  • A franchise quarterback for Minnesota’s Adrian Peterson and a top tier WR for Cam Newton in Carolina
  • Some coaching “know how” on the offensive side of the ball for the New York Jets
  • 10 pounds of additional muscle for running back Andre Ellington.
  • Some maturity, focus and commitment for wide receiver Kenny Britt.
  • A few open running lanes for the Baltimore Ravens or at least a big bottle of aspirin for Ray Rice.  Rice must have a monster sized headache from trying to run behind that anemic offensive line.
  • I’d ask for a healthy 2014 season for Julio Jones, but I’m sure Matt Ryan has already flooded your mail box with that same request.
  • Speaking of the Falcons, how about some extra strength mouthwash for the Falcons and the Houston Texans.  Going from Super Bowl aspirations straight into the toilet in just one year has to leave a seriously bad aftertaste.
  • Could we get a few monsters back on the midway…….please?  The offensive play in Chicago has been great to watch and I love what Marc Trestman has done in his first season as head coach, but it’s tough watching moderately skilled players gash the Bears defense for huge chunks of yardage.
  • Some quality therapy for Justin Blackmon.  Hopefully he gets his life in order and can return to the NFL at some point down the road.
  • For the Seahawks…..I’d love to see what Russell Wilson could accomplish with a healthy Percy Harvin playing wide receiver.  It would also be great to see a player or two in the Seattle secondary pass a damn drug test.
  • I know it’s asking a lot, but how about a clutch performance from Tony Romo when it really counts.  The guy is just too good a quarterback to be so maligned, although I wish he’d force feed the ball to Dez Bryant a little more often.
  • More playing time for Cincinnati’s Gio Bernard.
  • Glasses for the entire Dolphin’s coaching staff so they can see what’s right in front of their faces.  Seriously Santa, I’m tired of talking about Lamar Miller‘s misuse and lack of opportunity.
  • A T-shirt for Eagles head coach Chip Kelly that reads, “A 40 second play clock is 20 seconds too long.”
  • Words of wisdom for Archie Manning.  Eli is going to need to hear some fatherly advice over the the Holidays.
  • Maybe a Captain Crunch “decoder ring” for Josh Freeman so he can figure out where he misplaced all the skill he displayed during his first two years in the NFL.
  • A pat on the back for Jacksonville HC Gus Bradley.  After an 0-8 start, the Jaguars have surprisingly won a few games and the players are showing renewed energy and commitment on the field.
  • Just a dash of speed for Hakeem Nicks.  Once a sure fire WR #1 in this league, Nicks – who only turns 26 in January – has lost the necessary ability to separate in close quarters.
  • Patience for the St. Louis Rams and their fans.  The key pieces are coming into place and HC Jeff Fisher knows how to build a solid foundation.
  • Santa, you know I love those young wide receivers with upside.  How about continued improvement for Alshon Jeffery, Rueben Randle, Michael Floyd, Keenan Allen, Randall Cobb, Cordarrelle Patterson, DeAndre Hopkins and the two I mentioned earlier, Josh Gordon and Da’Rick Rogers.
  • Piece of mind for tight end Tony Gonzalez when it comes to hanging up his cleats.  AND a “crap ton” of coal for the Falcons’ front office for not trading Mr. Gonzalez to a contending team once they realized the 2013 season was a lost cause in Atlanta.  It would’ve been great to see “Gonzo” get one more chance at that elusive Lombardi Trophy while putting the finishing touches on a Hall of Fame career.
  • A strong wind at Alex Smith‘s back to help get those deep passes a little further down field.  On second thought, he’d need to be able to read through his progressions in order to use those wind gusts anyway, so never mind.
  • That more players would follow Larry Fitzgerald‘s example when it comes to commitment and professionalism on and off the field of play.
  • One final wish Santa……please let the 2014 draft class turn out to be as good as I think it’s going to be.


Well, that wraps up this week’s “Monday Morning Jolt” and certainly gives Santa plenty to do over the next few days.  I want to thank each and every person who dropped by this season to read my rants and ramblings on the NFL.  I’d also like to wish you all a safe and happy Holiday Season.  The talented Dan Heins (@Dan_DFW) will be handling the MMJ for weeks 16 and 17 while I quietly slip away into the fantasy football shadows for some much needed downtime.  So as we close out the year, may your fantasy players perform well, stay injury free, and may all your fantasy football dreams come true….. Merry Christmas to all and to all some good football!


Read more DFW articles by: Leo Paciga