By: Luke Grilli– Host of The Never Ending Glory Podcast

So here we go. I have to admit, while I have always been a huge football fan, it wasn’t really until college that I turned the NFL Draft into must watch TV. Of course, I followed the draft, but in high school, I didn’t plan my social schedule around the draft. I will give my NEG Pod colleague Marc Z. all the credit for this obsession. The two of us, as well as friend to the podcast Russ Phillips, would carve out time from our “busy” schedule of college courses and homework to make sure that we were planted in front of the TV for the next 48 hours or so. Of course, we’d be flush with $1 bills as we bet on each pick, but what else do you expect from us degenerates? Anyways, I say all of this because the NFL Draft has turned into one of my favorite “holidays” throughout the year. Now, I want to share this “holiday” with you. Unfortunately, I’m in New Hampshire and not Louisvile, Ohio like the rest of my NEG Podcast colleagues, but I will do my best to put on paper how I feel about each pick and/or rumor, while letting you know which wobbly pops I’ll be consuming.

8:00 PM

  • Let’s goooooo. I have no idea what the Browns are going to do, but I know whatever they do, it will probably bite them in the ass long term. OK not really. The pick here is Myles Garrett. Anything else is a mistake here.
    • P.S. I’m drinking a Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA. This bad boy has a 16.5% alcohol content, but you can’t even tell. Thankfully I only have one…otherwise this running diary would be over by pick 7 most likely
    • P.P.S. The Browns headquarters is in Berea, OH which happens to be where my alma matter Baldwin-Wallace College (I refuse to call it Baldwin-Wallace Univerisity so GTFO). If you ever want to get the best wings in the world, head on over to The Oriole and ask for Bob to hook you up with a dozen medium wings…and tell him Luke sent you. Place is heaven on Earth!

8:05 PM

  • Goodell gets booed. Love it. Boo him harder please Philly. In what city will he not get booed? Ooooo he asked for the boos. Kinda respect him for that. Oh wait, he led a witch hunt against the greatest player ever? Nah, F this guy.
  • The Browns are on the clock and will take the full 10 minutes to F this up.
  • I was down on Leonard Fournette because he gave me a Darren McFadden feel, but the more I think about it, guy is gonna be a beast. If somebody takes Christian McCaffrey over him…they’ll regret it
  • “I don’t think you have to outsmart yourselves. I don’t think you have to outsmart the league…Don’t overthink it. Pull the friggain trigger.”-A goateed Mike Mayock on why the Browns should take Myles Garrett

8:12 PM

  • THE PICK IS IN!
  • Oh thank goodness…they took Myles Garrett. I’d be lying if I wasn’t slightly looking forward to my Ohio friends and fellow podcasters crapping their pants over the Browns letting Garrett get away, but I’m happy Myles is headed to North East Ohio
    • Gotta think that all the assholes who said Mitchell Trubisky would go #1 overall are eating their hat right now
  • The Browns still have the 12th overall pick. Fully expect them to try and move into the Top 10 to take a QB, though I don’t agree with it
  • Oh snap. The Bears moved up to the 2nd overall pick and gave up a ton for it. San Francisco got San Chicago’s 3rd overall pick, 2017 3rd, 2017 4th and 2018 3rd to move up 1 spot. Pretty hefty price to pay
  • I’m sitting downstairs with my dog and let out an audible “WHAT?!?” when it was announced the Bears were making that move for Mitch Trubisky. That’s WILD.
    • I LOVE THE NFL DRAFT!
  • People on Twitter are saying Mike Glennon is pissed. Dude got paid and may be making $13 million to ride the bench. I think he’ll be aight.
  • The only reason Chicago makes this trade is because someone else was trying to move up to 2 and take Trubisky. I’d love to know who it was. Bills? Browns? Jags? Jets?

8:30 PM

  • The 49ers received 2 3rds and a 4th just to wait 10 minutes to get the player they want. John Lynch is 1–0 as a GM so far
  • Pee break #1

8:35 PM

  • Jags pick is in. They take Leonard Fournette. Hell of a pick here. He is gonna be a fantasy football beast in JAX. Jags are turning themselves into a dominant defense and they need a good running game out help out Blake Bortles (if he’s the starting QB next year of course)
  • Sip of Sunshine from Lawson’s Finest Liquids just cracked. Hell of an IPA. If you make your way up to the Burlington, VT area look for that beer. It puts Heady Topper to shame. Yup. I said it
  • Titans are trading out of this pick, right? Bunch of teams want a QB and the Titans are always open to dealing. I think Cleveland may move up here
    • Welp, I was way off. Shocked they didn’t trade out. Titans needed a playmaker. LOVE LOVE LOVE Corey Davis here. WOW

8:45 PM

  • So many way the Jets can go here at 6. Go offense with DeShaun Watson or OJ Howard? Defense with Marshon Lattimore or Jamal Adams? As a Patriots fan, I hope they mess this up royally
  • “I think this is the worst roster in the NFL right now.” Love hearing this about the Jets
  • Browns trying to trade for Kirk Cousins? Shit’s getting wild
  • Probably the best move for the Jets taking Jamal Adams here. They needed to shore up that defense again

9:00 PM

  • HEY SEAN. I’VE BEEN SAYING FOR WEEKS THAT THE CHARGERS WOULD TAKE A RECEIVER AND YOU SAID I WAS HIGH. GUESS WHAT…TYRELL WILLIAMS STINKS….KEENAN ALLEN CAN’T STAY HEALTHY. IT ONLY MAKES SENSE!
  • Seems really fast that this Panthers pick came in. Carolina has been linked to Christian McCaffrey and they take him. Guess it wasn’t a smoke screen.
  • Quick rookie fantasy football mock of all the guys drafted… 1. Mike Williams 2. Corey Davis 3. Leonard Fournette 4. Christian McCaffrey 5. Mitch Trubisky. Just like this draft, the rookie draft is going to be all over the place

9:12 PM

  • The Bengals take John Ross at 9. Wow. I get that he is fast…but c’mon Bengals This screams Tavon Austin 2.0
  • As John Ross walks onto the podium, it’s announced that Kansas City have traded into #10. They gave up their 2017 1st, 2017 3rd and 2018 1st. DeShaun Watson or Pat Mahomes here? You only move that much for a Q
  • Pee break #2
  • We are an hour and 15 minutes into the draft and have only seen 9 picks. This is gonna go til midnight. I ain’t about that life anymore
  • Oh man. Pat Mahomes goes 10th overall?! And the Chiefs traded a 3rd and a 1st for him? Yikes. Alex Smith ain’t happy

9:25 PM

  • The Saints have to be going defense here (Linebacker), so does that leave Deshaun Watson or OJ Howard here for the Browns?
    • If the Browns take OJ Howard, Sean Z will have a bone cone for the guy for the next 5 years or until he tears his ACL doing motorcycle tricks in a parking lot
  • Saints take Marshon Lattimore. Hell of a pick for them at 11. They can still address the EDGE or LB at 32 considering that they DEFINITELY won’t be trading for Malcolm Butler now

9:33 PM

  • Browns traded 12 overall to the Texans for the 25th pick and Houston’s 2018 1st rounder. The Browns now own the Texans’ 2018 1st and 2nd round picks. After missing out on Pat Mahomes, you have to think they are taking DeShaun Watson with the 12th pick
  • Watson to the Texas at 12. This draft is reminding me of 2011 when Cam, Locker, Gabbert and Ponder all went Top 12 and only 1 panned out. I think this happens again. The guy that pans out? DeShaun Watson

9:42 PM

  • Cardinals are on the clock at 13 and they needed a QB or a WR. Are there any QBs or WRs available worth the 13th pick? Probably not, but Jonathan Allen is available. We had him going as early as 3rd in our mocks. Probably not what Arizona wanted heading into the draft, but they’ll take it
    • Mike Mayock saying the Cardinals should take a QB here. C’mon now
  • Jonathan Allen continues his slide and makes Sean Z look stupid, but Arizona stays on the defensive side of the ball and nabs LB Hasson Reddick
  • Being very selfish here…I want Dalvin Cook to the Eagles for fantasy football purposes.
  • Mike Mayock said that Reuben Foster is very similar to Ray Lewis. Did Reuben Foster also kill a guy? Sorry, I know it’s a cheap shot, but I’m a Patriots fan and a Browns sympathizer so hating Ray Lewis is in my blood

10:00 PM

  • Colts are on the clock and yet again… and surprised surprise, I’m being a selfish fantasy footballer and hoping that Dalvin Cook is the pick here
  • Son of a…the Colts continue to build their D, which is great…but what the hell are they gonna do at RB? Frank Gore is a million years old. I’m assuming they will look at RB in the 2nd round
  • OK…Dalvin Cook is still a possibility for 8 of the next 11 teams on the board. BAL, WASH, TB, DEN, DET, NYG, CLE and SEA

10:05 PM

  • Pee break #3
  • Just cracked open beer #3 Limbo IPA from Long Trail Brewery in Bridgewater Corner, VT. If you haven’t figured it out, I love New England IPAs
    • Work is going to suck tomorrow
  • Ravens offense will continue to suck, but TJ Onwuanibe…you da man
  • Ugh…I gotta stay off Twitter. Reading Jonathan Allen to the Skins before they announce it. I want to hear Goodell say it in between the boos!
    • Crazy value for Jonathan Allen at 17. Finally, the Redskins front office did something right!

10:20 PM

  • OJ Howard would be AWESOME to pair with Corey Davis, but the Titans need to go CB here after cutting Jason McCourty. Pee Break #4 after this pick
    • Adoree Jackson is the pick and could be a great replacement for McCourty
  • Quick pick here for the Bucs. Dalvin Cook?
    • Nope. OJ Howard. This throws a ton of cold water on Cameron Brate’s fantasy football value…but boy oh boy do I like Jameis Winston next year with this pick and the addition of DeSean Jackson
  • Broncos take a big white tackle from Utah. Yawn. Next!
    • OH BUT THEN HE IS A BALLER AND BRINGS HIS KID OUT AND HOLDS HIM UP LIKE SIMBA. GARRETT BOLLES YOU ARE MY FAVORITE BIG WHITE GUY WHO TALKED ABOUT HAVING A LEARNING DIASBILITY AND GETTING IN TROUBLE WITH THE COPS IN THE LEAGUE

10:38 PM

  • Mike Mayock’s goatee is creeping me out and I just made a delicious cheese quesadilla to get myself through these next 11 picks

10:50 PM

  • Evan Ingram is a nice piece to the Giants offense. He looks like more of a Wide Receiver than a Tight End. Hopefully (likely) this will end all of the Will Tye trade offers sent to me in a dynasty league I’m in
  • Gareon Conley passed the polygraph test. He’s gotta be innocent!

11:01 PM
(Editor’s Note: After this pick, I was getting loopy. If we are being honest, I watch football for the offense and I’ll admit that I don’t appreciate the defensive X’s and O’s, so I was fading in and out at this point just hoping that a team would trade up for a QB so +3.5 for QBs in round 1 would hit and Burris would have to eat an 8″ x 10″ picture of me. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen)

  • It’s getting late, but I’m fighting the urge to sleep (you’re welcome for my sacrifice America). The Browns take Jabrill Peppers. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯…on that cloudy piss game
  • Not shocked at all that Seattle would trade out of their 1st round pick. Atlanta took DE Takkarist McKinley. Keeping up with the pressure on the QB.
    • That intensity… #OHHH with that F bomb! “Fine me later man!”

Picks Missed due to being tired and slightly disinterested:
27. Tre’Davious White CB- Bills
28. Taco Charlton DE- Cowboys
29. David Njoku TE- Browns
30. TJ Watt LB- Steelers
31. Reuben Foster LB- 49ers
32. Ryan Ramczyk T- Saints

So there you have it. My NFL Draft 2017 Running Diary. This bad boy ran 2,000+ words and was pretty fun. Total pee breaks= 4. Total oz. of IPAs drank= 40. Average Alcohol content of the IPAs=11.33%. Slept in a few minutes later than usual, but I’m running on Dunkins now and am gearing up for the Round 2 and Round 3 Running Diary tonight!

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