A monthly rant from Scott “Ram” Henkel
Hi. I’m Scott “Ram” Henkel and I’m pissed. RamPage! is my way of letting the voices of the common man be heard and calling out the BS in sports and life. You’re thinking it, I’m writing it. You ready?
Week 1 Shock Jocks
I love week one. Football is back and that is just pure awesome. There was a time not too long ago when I would be the guy who woke up at 4 am to make sure I was ready to vulture the waiver wire for that guy who came out of nowhere to dominate. Yeah there was the option of auto-selecting. But those stupid pre-selection options screwed me in the past. Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, and we’re dating. And yeah I took fantasy football maybe, just maybe, a wee bit too seriously. Maybe.
But I will tell you friends that the statistics almost never work out in your favor. For every Laurent Robinson of 2012 I present you his replacement Kevin Ogletree and a host of others. You just blew a valuable waiver wire selection because you got caught up in the week 1 excitement. Don’t be that guy.
I go back to the fundamentals of drafting when evaluating the waiver wire prospects. Talent + surrounding cast + opportunity. While not foolproof those metrics keep me from repeating my past stupid decisions like picking Tatum Bell with my number one overall pick in 2007. See Tinker Bell had the second and third parts of my equation but lacked the first in the form of mental faculties and durability (parts of talent along with athletic ability).
So before you go off and raid the waiver wire and set yourself back in the waiver priority lets be sure to do a thorough check of the guy’s talent + surrounding cast + opportunity. Stupid Tatum Bell.
Those guys sucked. I’ll say it. You’re probably too nice to do it so there you go. I conducted a very scientific poll not too long ago amongst my fellow DFDubbers to find out how they viewed the replacement refs on week 1 and then again in week 2. I asked them to rate the referee’s gametime performance on a scale of no difference from the regular guys to epic fail. Science, people. All acknowledged they weren’t as good as the regular refs but thought they were doing a decent enough job.
Then there’s me. The games in the first three weeks bordered on unwatchable and then went straight to a Ben Affleck movie marathon unwatchable. Yes I know they are doing the best they can and I’d suck as much or worse if afforded the chance to fill their shoes. But I’m not. Jay finances my lavish lifestyle through my magnificent writing for DFDub so I can make all the dumb comments I want without having to be a replacement referee.
But my rage isn’t focused in the ref’s direction. I agree with the noodle-spined PC peeps who say they are doing they’re best. No, I’m pissed at the owners and the NFL leadership for allowing consecutive strikes within their organization. An organization responsible for not just billions of dollars of revenue but players lives as well as Vegas bookies. Did you hear that over $500 million dollars changed hands because of the Packers-Seahawks game? Think of the bookies, people! Where are your souls?
And now the refs are back on and getting paid. Hallelujah! But I can’t help but wonder if the owners had to settle a liiiiiitle higher than they had planned due to the Super Bowl Champs getting jobbed in primetime. My thanks to the owners and Rodger Goodell for reminding us all you are a band of douchenozzles with a singular focus on the cash and that all of your posturing about “concern for the players” is just pure unadulterated crap. My hope is that players who got jacked up during the ref’s “timeout” like Darrius Heyward-Bey sue your sorry butts for putting them at risk. Screw you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to shell out $240 for nose bleeds at Sports Authority Field.
So the Saints and former Saints players’ suspension got overturned recently…what about the coaches? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Wasn’t it the players who inflicted the punishment? Last time I checked none of the coaches ran onto the field and laid Brett Favre out or targeted Frank Gore’s knees. Yes the coaches were in charge, initiated the bounty, and set the culture that encourages this behavior. They deserve to be punished. And maybe it’s my hillbilly Pennsylvania logic at work here but if the players were let off the hook shouldn’t the coaches then also deserve the same level of mercy? Maybe they get a few more games than the players, but come the hell on. I think Sean Peyton needs to be reinstated starting week 4.
And there you go. The maiden voyage of my ship of rage. Hope you enjoyed the ride and if you’ve got topics to fuel next month’s bout of anger feel free to let me know!